a look inside

so today, i woke up just like any other day: rolled out of bed 20 minutes before my first class, threw some clothes on (and kept some that were already matted to me from the day before -__- ), went to the bathroom to make sure my hair didn't look like i just got out of bed, only to put a hat over my head to avoid any chance of being spotted as a non-showerer-in-the-morninger. but as i got down my stairs feeling tired/depressed/not wanting to go to school, it went off in my mind "HEY" and then i said out loud, "HEY! YOU'RE NOT THAT TIRED. STOP ACTING DEPRESSED AND ENJOY TODAY." And really right after that, I felt different, more awake and more ready to actually smile today heh. I realize the first words i say during the day are mostly to other people after nearly half an hour of being awake. Really, i should have those words with myself, with God. beause then i dont fall into the machine of everyday living, or as dr. ben might call it man's "default." And this is just such a basic battle that makes such a big difference in the day. Why don't i want to be awake? why don't i want to live today? man...i realize life is so awesome; i should value every moment of it. it's sort of been on my mind for a while, and i guess im finally glad that it was manifest in some form of action today. but i've been thinking a lot these past few weeks about my soul, because of our sunday service messages. my soul is something that God owns. and really, when i pray/commune with God, its soul with soul, spirit with spirit. what i really am is a soul encased in a fleshly body. but when i come face to face with God, it will be my soul, and i will be asked to bring an account of my life as a soul who just happened to be stationed on earth for a few years. in one message, we heard about God planting a vineyard. and the vineyard isn't just Israel or the world, but it's my very soul too. and he expects it to bear good fruit. he has every reason to. after all, he built it with the best stuff (and even got rid of the crumby stuff too, see Isa 5:2). so i shouldn't live with such a dumb attitude. wow, i'm alive, and with God i can live it in the best way with the best soul. man...in light of God, i've really got to start enjoying life, and for the simple fact that there is too much of God not to enjoy. i can't ignore Him.